Just Another Day In Heaven
by lironelle
Summary: A story about the characters that J.K. Rowling killed having a good time in heaven. Nothing really questionable, just some swearing. Very funny. Please review.


a.n: Depending on what kind of reviews I get for this, I man add other chapters… but who knows :D Just little adventures from our friends in heaven. Enjoy!

**Just Another Day In Heaven**

Sirius Black reclines in a beach chair sunbathing. Of course, technically there was no sun in heaven. This worried Sirius; how would he ever get a good tan?

Just then, Sirius spotted James running down the beach towards him. That was one of the good things about being in heaven; seeing James again. Sirius took a sip of lemonade. That was another good thing about heaven; whatever food you wanted just appeared. Most of the newbies to heaven took too much advantage of this and had to go on spiritual weight-loss programs for a few years after they arrived.

James finally reached him. Dang, he had taken his time about it! Maybe he needed to go on another weight loss program.

"Sirius!" James shouted in Sirius' ear. "Harry's having a Baby!"

Sirius was alarmed. What the hell? Of course, Harry could have been accidentally exposed to some kind of terrible curse that made him get pregnant, but – Sirius fainted.

James dumped the rest of Sirius' lemonade on top of his head and Sirius came round, spluttering.

"How did it happen?" Sirius asked, feeling horrified.

James frowned. "I thought you already knew…"

Sirius frowned too. "No…"

James looked worried. "Well Sirius when a man and a woman love each other very much sometimes they –"

"That's not what I meant!" Above all things, Sirius did NOT want to have the sex talk with his best friend.

"You just said that you didn't know what IT was. So I was explaining IT to you." James was confused.

Sirius shook his head. "What I asked was, how on earth did Harry get pregnant?"

James stared at him in silence. "Harry isn't pregnant."

"But you said-" said Sirius.

"Ginny is."

Major oops.

"And the Baby is coming now."

Everyone was clustered around the huge wide-screen, high def., plasma TV that allowed the citizens of heaven to view the lives of, well, the living.

On the T.V., Ginny was sitting in St. Mungo's holding a new Baby. (a/n: this is Albus :D)

The Baby was screaming like there was no tomorrow.

Ginny was smiling like there was no tomorrow.

Awww what a happy family.

Hey, wait, here came Harry leading his first child, James, by the hand.

"Maybe they'll name this one after me too!" James (the heavenlyish one) said ecstatically.

"Dream on," Lily said. "They are so naming it after me!"

"It's a boy," Sirius reminded her. Hey, maybe they would name it after him! That was a great idea! Sirius was Harry's Godfather, after all. "I think they'll name it after me!" he yelled.

Voldemort (a/n: who is now able to talk for the purpose of this Fanfic) said. "Who are any of you kidding? Harry and I were _close_ during life. I know that Harry will name the Baby, Ebil Voldiekenns the Second!"

Everyone stopped. And stared. A few people fainted. But most just cracked up.

Voldemort put his nose in the air.

"I say we place bets!" said George Washington.

Everyone turned to him, confused.

"Who are you?" asked Fred Weasley.

"Aren't you some American Guy?" asked Tonks.

"Hey yeah!" said Sirius. "You aren't even a Wizard! Or British! What the hell are you doing here?!"

George Washington sniffed. "You guys are all racist! And Sexist! And I was British before I decided I hated King George – he stole my bunny rabbit – and that I needed to form a new nation."

Lilly was confused. "We didn't tell you to leave because you were a guy,: she said. Then she looked at Ginny, who was now nursing the new Baby. "But I think it might be a good idea, now I think of it."

"Hoot," agreed Hedwig and Lily nodded.

"I agree too," said Dumbledore.

Lily looked at him strangely. "But you're a guy too!"

"Am I?"

Lily looked alarmed. "Well…"

"How can you be completely _sure?_"

Lily fainted. Snape caught her.

"You filthy git keep your paws off my wife!" yelled James.

"No!" yelled Snape.

James grabbed one of Lilly's arms and tried to tug her away but Snape had hold of the other one!

"I think that you should be before you throw us out,: Dumbledore said to the unconscious Lily.

Meanwhile, Snape and James were having a tug of war over Lily, who was still out cold.

"They're going to name the baby after me!" yelled Snape.

"No me!" yelled James.

"It's going to be Voldiekenns the Second!" yelled Voldemort.

Then, then all stopped as the Harry Potter on the screen started to say something. The name of the Baby.

Albus Severus Potter.

There was complete silence in the room.

Snape turned triumphantly to Sirius. "They named their kid after ME!" he said.

"Me too!" yelled Dumbledore.

Sirius couldn't take it. He launch himself at Snape. Soon, everyone was fighting each other. Fists flew, bruises were dealt out, and black eyes given. Wands lay forgotten, not that George Washington had had one in the first place.

On the scene of the T.V. a happy, peaceful, family could be seen.

Just a typical in heaven.

a/n: Yeah it got a little random towards the end, but I love irony so what the heck. :D No offence meant to anyone also btw :D


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